friendship

i would like to be the one u love,

the one i love,

the one everyone loves.

but could i?

no,i couldn't.

so?

as i'm so selfish,

i want to be the one i love!

of course i hope that u love me,

but if u don't,

i don't mind.

and i will let u walk out from my life,my heart and my eyes.

p/s:we can't force someone to be our friend.

friendship depends on fate.

if they don't love u,please don't force them

respect them and their rights,and let them go out from ur life.

the end of my 1st year in INSA

finally i can shout out loudly:bye bye 1st year!!!
i passed my 1st year!
surprisingly,i passed almost every exam in 2nd semester.
and now i'm doing my internship.
quite tiring but i learn new things.

after exams,i kept hanging out with my lovely friends and ate in restaurant almost everyday
then i passed 1 week holiday at seaside.
1 of my friends has a house there,n we passed a relaxing and enjoyable holiday before doing our internship
since i was under the sun everyday,i'm kinda black now.i mean i'm tanned.

well,everything is fine now.n i'm going back to msia in 1 month,exactly 1 month!
yeah!!i want to eat in japanese restaurant!(coz it's very expensive here!)
then i wanna eat char koay tiao,curry mee,hokkien mee,oo jian,dim sum,chicken rice.........( unmanaged to finish counting)
see u guys in 1 month yea~miss!

我是我自己的

一直都不想承认自己长大了。
即时到了法国念书，也一直希望我的人生不是我一个人能做主的。
为什么我不可以慢一点长大？
难道这就是出国读书的代价？
虽然一直都知道我的人生是我的，可是却一直都逃避什么都必须自己承担的责任
我知道我长大了，我知道每个人都有自己对自己的责任。
可是我真的不愿意去面对
如果我今天还在家，我还会是那个什么都问爸爸妈妈哥哥姐姐的小女儿、小妹。
我知道是我选择了离开，我知道我必须长大，我也一直在努力了不是吗？
我已经努力地做出很多自己的决定。
可是好像没有自己想象中的那么坚强。


我其实不是生你的气，我也不是因为你而伤心。
只是你提醒了我一直都在逃避的事情
你让我重新发现我是我的
你让我突然发现我的社交，其实是想希望别人帮我承担些责任
你也让我发现，即时我跟谁再好，我还是我自己的
有点让我透不过气。
我一直让自己相信，跌倒了没关系，有很多人会扶我起来。
可是你让我不得不面对，其实跌倒了，我只能自己爬起来。
你提醒了我我其实不应该再依赖你们。
你也提醒了我，其实我不应该再抓住在马来西亚的一切一切。


好久都没有那么痛快的大哭一场了，似乎不知道怎么哭了，我又重新得学会哭泣
原来真正能够让我掉泪的是，我不得不承认自己的懦弱，我不得不承认自己长大了
我不得不面对自己
哭过了，我会正式的扛起我该付的责任，我的人生
从此，一切我自己负责。

laziness

sorry...kinda lazy to update my blog recently
nothing special happened actually but i pretty love my life now
i keep meeting up with my friends.
we share happiness and sadness
we study together (really?!><)
we support each other
this is what friendship means right?
oh yea..i've found an internship!from 1st july to 31st july
so i will be back on august!can't wait to go back..
searching for flight tickets now..hope that i could get a cheaper 1
had 3 exams last week.
i don't really know ll i get good marks.we ll see...
always in good mood these few days.
don't know y..may be becoz of my friends!
love them very very much!^^
u know,when i was sad,they were the only ones who stayed beside me n supported me
well,although i said nothing in front of them,but i felt pretty good!
wish that everything would go well at least until next holiday,summer holiday^^

leaving..athens,here i come.

going to leave in half an hour..

the feeling is kinda hard to be described.

i feel like wanna leave this place as soon as possible

but on the same time,i feel heavy to leave..

dunno y..

when the time comes,feel like it's better to stay here.

m i mad?

well..not going to think so much..

just leave here.

try to enjoy myself as much as possible!

don't miss me guys!

ll come back in 1 week.

bye!

athens,here i come!!!

izit something to do with me?!

today,when i open my window,i saw loads of smokes.
i saw many firemen outside the building in front of me..
i saw fire in my friend's room.
but i saw no body inside.
hence,i thought everyone was out of the building,n i went to class.
in the class,my friends told me that they couldn't find a friend who's staying in the room.
i asked God to save him..
but apparently,He didn't listen to me.
My friend passed away..


I know him through a friend,he is her classmate.
i still remember the 1st we met is when i went shopping with my friend,n she bring him along.
i still remember i was fined quite loads of money due to the problem of my metro card.
he helped me to argue with the controller.
although it makes no changes after that,i told myself that he is a kind guy.
he invited me to eat with them,but i couldn't then i promised him that i ll make him a malaysian dinner the next week.
but i didn't manage to do that due to something happened to another friend.
then i told him next time.
after that we promised him few times again,n we failed to make it again..
n finally i can't make it anymore..
he played rugby n i played volleyball on monday.every monday we ll play with each other..but now..i wont hv chance to play with him anymore.
i wont hv chance to have a drink with him n see his cute red face anymore..
btw..
things happened is happened.
i know that u wont like to see us cry for u..
i just wanna tell u that i'm glad that u r my friend..
i'm lucky enough to know u coz u're really really a kind person.
the promise i hv made,i ll make it in the next life,if i'm lucky enough to know u again.
ll miss u always..





he is the 3rd friend of mine who passed away in this year..
i wonder what happened to me this year..
everything goes wrong..

mess

finally,nothing went like what i had planned
finally,everything messed up,once again.
i wonder why i just can't have a simple life?
i'm just a simple girl.
i don't need a special life!
i don't want to be special,because i know,no matter how simple u r,the person who loves u will feel that u're special
when u're special,this will make the person confuse,n u too..
huuuuuu!!!
stop thinking about love!
my heart has 3 doors:
the 1st one is always opened for my family and relatives,
the 2nd one..hmm..i ll say i open it often as it's for my friends
the 3rd one was seldom opened but now,it's closed for lover.
so,i'm single but not available now^^
as for my studies..
i have difficulty of being hardworking
i have no passion,this is the worst thing because i'm always not in study mood
got some bad results such as thermo and systeme.
i'm scared that i ll fail again..
however,these r not efficient enough to make me study..
as for my health...ha ha!
my ankle sprained..due to my stupidness
i was too tired because i slept at 3 am in the morning and woke up at 7.30 am and i was rushing too
that's y,i didn't see the last step of the staircase and suddenly,'bang'--i fell down.
i thought it was nothing coz i didn't wear high heel,n i didn't really feel pain.
therefore,i told everyone that i'm ok.
yet,when i tried to walk,i know something happened to my ankle..
luckily leo and laurent were there and brought me to see the nurse.
damn stupid huh?
this is the 1st time my ankle sprained when i don't play volleyball.
n this is also the 1st time in france.
i remember the last time,my ankle had sprained few days before state u-18 volleyball tournament 2007.
i was so sad because i couldn't play few matches in the beginning.
n i tried to move n run so that i could recover earlier even though it was really painful
n finally,i played in semi-final n final.
i was so happy until i forgot about the pain.
besides,my family and friends helped me a lot!
they fetched me to here and there,papa brought me to see a chinese doctor...
this time i'm alone.
but i'm lucky though,becoz i hv friends who were ready to give me a hand.
i appreciate it..very very much!






i watched a Taiwanese series today and the guy said:"true love's not true,'prince and princess live together happily ever after' appears only in fairy-tails.
but i beliefs,there is always someone that u love the most n loves u the most.
may be u wont be together forever,but u know,no matter what,ur hearts ll always be together
n i always belief this,because i know the heart of belief ll become a power...
我相信，因为相信的心会变成力量。

happy chinese new year~~gongxifacai!!

today is the 1st day of cny!i can imagine how happy my friends n family who r at home r.
i'm not at home,yet i'm not sad though.
well,i admit that i miss home,i miss my family n friends much more then ever i had in the year.
however,i'm not sad bcoz i had a celebration with my seniors yesterday n going to have another 1 next weekend!
yesterday,we cooked loads of malaysian's food!got bah kut teh,hong shao rou,yam rice,sushi,agar-agar,zhap cai,white carrot's soup,meat ball,tao fu,mu er tong shui,and roasted duck!!
next week,we gonna hv steamboat and lao sheng!
of course it's not as good n as fun as at home,but it's already good enuf for those who staying abroad.
so i think,i'm lucky enuf..
在此，我祝福大家：
恭喜发财，
万事如意，
快乐安康，
学业猛进。
wish u all the best!
miss.....^^

not more teenager!!

wow!i'm officially 20!!!!!!!
should i say i'm old d?nonono!!!i'm mature!!!=P
well..i had alot of fun yesterday night with malaysians!
they made a party for me n yogesh(my 'twin')
i ate bihun,pizza,chips,and we drank alot!
i drank 2 shots of tequila,2 glasses of rose wine,2 glasses of red wine,and 1 glass of apple,a little bit of lychit!gosh!!i wonder since when i can drink so much n dun get drunk at all!
well..i kept drinking alcohol this few days.
i drank some white wine on thursday n a lot a lot on friday due to the party in my engineering school!(some sangria,vodka,rhum...,n i didn't get drunk neither!)
we had 3 cakes(1 for me,1 for yogesh n 1 for haikal)(1 cake made from lavanya,1 from pei xin n 1 from carrefour)
after went back to insa,we drank a bit again..after that i went back to my room n studied until 3.30am.
today i woke up at 12pm n checked my mail
guess what?i got 100++emails from facebook!!thz thz thz~
i dunno what to say except thz~
how wish i can celebrate with everyone.
but well..i can't even celebrate with my friends in toulouse,i mean those french,coz we r having 2 exams tmr!how 'lucky' m i!
well..wish i can do well tmr!
thkz everyone!love yea~
muack!!

need to continue my revision d..=/

what a shocking day

wow!!!finally i'm home n no more 'surprise'(i wish)
today morning,i hv learned about a death of a friend,kamal.
he was learning french with us during 3 months n was staying in the same hostel with us.
i was so shocked and couldn't concentrate in the class.
till now,i still dunno wat happened...
then i got another 'surprise' before break time.
i failed the exam that i was so confident in!!
i juz cant believe it!
i thought i managed to solve those questions,but apparently,i was wrong!
then i asked teacher,he told me that it's because of i didn't write any sentence,he didn't understand so he didn't gv mark.
wth!!!
i failed 3 subjects adi!!!i can oni fail 4 subjects in a year..but don't worry,i hv found the passion that i had when i was preparing for spm.
if i fail again after i put those afford,dat means i'm not suitable to be an engineer!!or i'm juz too stupid!

well..i'm so tired after all this.yet,i need to study..
i want to be better no matter what!!!!!
ganbatte neh!!!!
aja aja fighting!!

hmm..i ll rest for awhile though..i'm so tired now..even too tired to breath...
may everyone pray hard for me...
and kamal,may u rest in peace..